Updated: Jul 23, 2022
*Disclaimer* I normally do not condone Fuck N***a shit, until now.
So I was spinning the block through my IG stories and came across one of the homie's named Shivon, who seemed to be conflicted about a song that I never heard. She called the song "toxic" but also liked it, so since she has a good ear for music I went to Youtube.
It's by DVSN (Someone I never heard of) and the song is called "if I get Caught Cheating". Now just the name alone gives me "Fuck N****a vibes" but who am I to judge?
The video starts with a dude getting ready to go out and his thicker than a Snicker Girlfriend not happy with his decision.
Now, normally I'd accuse the woman of "trippin" but THIS time Shorty has a right to be upset because the lead's friend is Mal from the old "Joe Budden Podcast" something I used to watch on the regular and if you know Mal like I do, then you know Mal aint shit!
No, for real. It's so bad his character description in the video is "Aint Shit Best Friend".I mean, a stand up dude, but you probably don't want your man hanging with him because he'll definitely have a baddie's breas'ti'sis in his face.
So as the lead goes off with Mal, the beat drops and here are the first lyrics of the song are
"You wouldn't want me if you thought I never had hoes"
No disrespect to the late great Tupac but THAT'S "the realest shit ever wrote"
On Mama's, A lot of women don't want a man no other woman wants. Ladies, keep it a buck, if you were with your girlfriends at brunch,
sipping bottomless champagne, with a splash of OJ calling them shits "Mimosas" and you showed a picture of your new boyfriend and all Stephanie had to say is"Mm, His shoes are nice" you'd throw that N***a away ASAP!
So as the video continues Thicker Than A Snicker finds her Man's phone and notices all types of inappropriate text messages.
First of all, why are your ass cheeks on my fly couch and 2, why are you in my phone? I thought that I could trust you? But anyway.
Meanwhile Ole Boy is walking through hallways with Jermaine Dupree looking like they're in an old Jodeci video
.....and yeah, he's sprinkling money on a woman's ass while smacking it
throwing money women while smacking their ass, but don't focus on that, focus on the next lines of the song
"Don't forget I was a fly nigga when you got here (Yeah)
Charismatic when you got here (Uh, yeah)
You knew about me when you got here
Now you're trippin', girl, it's not fair"
I mean, can you fault this dude when he TOLD you that he likes to dabble in ho'ish behavior every now and then? Especially when he allows you to sit booty, buck ass cheeks on his fly couch all night?
And who TF do you think you are Kesha from Belly? And if so didn't her story teach you anything?
Like he said "Would you rather be the girl that cry in a Corolla or a foreign?"
I ain't gon' lie that line was hard, I felt that shit.
Look, there's a price living with a fly N****a. You could be in a 1 bedroom apartment crying on an air mattress that's on the floor over a dude or you could be in a fly ass crib, what is it going to be Sis'? Somewhere the late Kevin Samuels is saying 'I told you"
Now, next is the hook of the song "If I get caught cheating, that doesn't mean I don't love you"
Ok, I couldn't keep a straight face on that but let's continue.
As the song/video continues, Ole girl's acting childish, cutting clothes and taking sharpies to Jordans. She then calls her friend who co-signs her dumb shit then gets off the phone to roll over to HER man. See girls, your friends aint shit. You about to be single while Kenisha's cuddled up sending you to voicemail.
So after all this toxic shit Thicker Than A Snicker is putting her man through, he comes home, she's waiting outside in a sexy two piece, no robe (Very disrespectful to their relationship) thinking she's going to bust her man out when Mal comes up and tells her that he left HIS phone at the crib. Yes "HIS PHONE!" Mal's the Ho' not your man. I mean he was
smacking ass and making it rain, but he wasn't cheating.
You see ladies, ya'll be tripping.
This was just a misunderstanding and it happens all of the time.
You know who could feel this song?
Jay-Z (Who also is sampled in this song)
Hell, ladies even Faith Evans
And I know what some of ya'll stank women are thinking "Please, if WE did this to ya'll......."
First of all, this isn't about what you do, it's about us. Can WE black men speak? I mean for over 400 years this country has tried to silence and castrate the black man, while also dealing with systemic racism, poisonous pork, crime bills, slavery and Oprah. When we finally have a brotha singing a beautiful song that speaks for the voiceless here ya'll come deflecting and stomping out our Black Boy Joy. How Anti-Black is that? Do you want us to protect you? Then protect us.
Ok, I couldn't keep a straight face for too long.
Plus y’all weren’t complaining about TLC’s “Creep”
But anyway, this song is amazing!
So amazing it's better than anything Stevie Wonder or Marvin Gaye sang.
It should get a Grammy, AMA and a Nobel Peace Prize because it shows through song and art black men are beautiful, misunderstood & often wrongfully accused. "If I get caught cheating is the greatest video of all time!"
It shows how a nosey ass woman, who has everything, can mess up Black Love.
Shawn William is an award winning writer and spoken word artist that loves cherry lemonade with vodka in it, long walks, smelling good and women that are thicker than a snicker.